.B: calling me a lyre?!Bloke goes to a costume party, stark naked, painted green with his girlfriend on his back. Someone asks ‘what are you suppose... to be?’, he replies ‘I’m a tortoise’. ‘What about her?’, he replies... ‘that’s Michelle’I told my doctor that when I travel from country to country I have the urge to get drunk. She told me I’m a borderline alcoholic.A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.”Not a. As the last couple decided to leave my wife who by now was very tipsy wanted to stay out and move onto a nightclub. I still had some partying left in me so we decided to go onto one only club left in town before heading back to the hotel that we were staying in, neither of us wanted to drink and drive, so we decide to stay at a nearby hotel.My wife was looking particularly stunning on the night in question and was wearing red lacy dress that only just covered her ass cheeks and when she bent. “Are you active?” I asked, “Sort of” he replied, “I had a fumble with a teacher from college, he fucked me but wouldn’t let me fuck him”.As we talked he said he was scared to approach others as he didn’t know what to say and he didn’t have any experience so he wasn’t sure what to do. I thought about what he’d said as I made him a drink and as we sat on the sofa I leaned across to him and said “I can help you out” as I put my hand on his knee, he looked surprised as he said “You sure”, smiling. Even though you don't think you'd mind it if the female me fooled around with you, owing to the fact that you don't think you could, shall we say, reciprocate, and do unto me as I have done unto you, you're saying that we'd best keep this part of our rather convoluted relationship on a platonic footing?" "Yes... I do believe that would be for the best on all accounts." "Oddly enough, I'm in full agreement with you. "Okay. Now that we hashed all of that out, what say you and I call it a night.
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